


battering

by penrosequartz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (it's ok tho he's my bby), Arthur Ketch Being an Asshole, British Men of Letters Being Assholes, Depression, Existentialism, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mick Davies Is Sad, Not Happy, Obsession, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, but I hate him, kind of implied happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 12:17:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14894483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penrosequartz/pseuds/penrosequartz
Summary: Mick Davies is stuck inside his own head in a way other people can’t even begin to comprehend. Sometimes he’s contemplating his place in the universe, but mostly? Mostly he’s thinking about Arthur Ketch.





	battering

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is not a happy story it's not even really ketch/mick but enjoy lol

Mick Davies is stuck inside his own head in a way other people can’t even begin to comprehend. He’s constantly over-analysing, overthinking, wondering about his own existence. He finds himself pondering small, meaningless things, and twisting them into bigger metaphors. Sometimes he’s contemplating his place in the universe, but mostly? Mostly he’s thinking about Arthur Ketch.

Ketch is an enigma. Mick knows it’s unhealthy, but he’s obsessed - the man just doesn’t  _ care,  _ not about anyone, or anything. And somehow Mick is under his spell. Objectively, he should hate the guy - he’s a ruthless, heartless, cold-blooded killer who probably got a tattoo of a cross out of irony.  _ Thou shalt not kill, unless the higher-ups order you to. _

So, yeah. He should hate Ketch, but he doesn’t. He should hate the fact that the American hunters aren’t doing what the British Men of Letters officially want them to do… but he doesn’t. He should ignore the awful spike in his gut when Arthur doesn’t turn up for debriefing.

But he doesn’t. 

He needs to know where the man is, plain and simple. It’s for attendance purposes. It’s not that he’s worried, because honestly, he’s not. Ketch can handle himself, and Mick knows that better than anybody. He’s just… perplexed. Which he shouldn’t be surprised by, considering that he’s essentially always perplexed when it comes to Mr. Ketch.

He finds himself texting Arthur with less politeness than usual. He’s letting his emotions get in the way of his job again, something that Ketch would never do in a million years - some might argue that makes Mick a better man. Personally, he thinks it makes him a blunt instrument, in contrast to Arthur’s sharper, more… unfeeling attitude.

-

When he and Dean go and question the bartender, Mick thinks that the guy looks a bit like Arthur. A younger version of him. Then the kid starts talking, and the resemblance slips away - this man is passionate. About all the wrong things, maybe, but he has some kind of well of emotion, overflowing and spilling out of him, something Arthur seems to lack. Maybe it’s just the Britishness. Americans are all so… feelings-y, and there’s something warming and also terrifying about that. But Mick’s seen Lady Bevell’s eyes light up with a fire, he’s seen Brits at football matches and he’s seen them on highways and he knows that emotions are a human thing, not an American thing. So, it’s not Arthur’s birthplace that makes him so cold compared to this young, “feely” bartender. Maybe Mr. Ketch is just broken. 

And if Arthur is broken, what does that make Mick?

-

 

When Ketch and Mary report in after missions, Mick feels something suspiciously close to jealousy stirring in his gut. It’s not the fact that Ketch is gallivanting around with Mary Winchester, killing monsters and drinking top-shelf liquor while he’s stuck at the base with reports to write. No, it’s not that at all (he quite likes writing reports, actually, it’s very therapeutic). 

It’s the fact that he can hear traces of  _ warmth  _ in Arthur’s voice when he says that he’s “learned not to argue.” It makes Mick feel physically sick. It was never that bad when Ketch was with Lady Bevell, but the fact that Arthur actually  _ likes  _ Sam and Dean’s  _ mother?  _ Mick can’t describe how it makes him feel.

-

When Rawlings dies, something in Mick goes with him. Mick breaks the code. He breaks the thing that he used to hold himself together for all these years - because even if it wasn’t right, it was at least  _ correct protocol. _

Mick Davies doesn’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. He can’t even tell which way is up. He tells Sam and Dean to go.

-

Mick sees it coming in an odd, roundabout, instinctual sort of way. He feels Ketch step forward behind him. He knows he’s going to die as soon as he starts mouthing off. But Mick doesn’t think he’ll live through one more day anyway - he’ll do it himself if he thinks too hard on one thing for too long.

And it’s so sudden, and it’s so painless, that he’s almost grateful. He can’t really explain it, but he’s sort of floating above his own body. Dr. Hess starts talking, and Ketch puts the gun down and puts his hands behind his back, calm and controlled. But from where Mick is, he can see Arthur’s hands shaking almost imperceptibly, can see the tension in his jaw. 

If that’s the only emotion Mick can draw out of Mr. Ketch after all these years, he’ll take it. And he’ll see him later.

-

(Mick doesn’t see him for a while).

**Author's Note:**

> i have a lot of feelings and i write about them because i'm terrible   
> [come shout at me](http://dep-op-ex-pression.tumblr.com/)


End file.
